Things have become complicated and shaken up since I took the risk and spoke my truth. I have been battling against doubt and guilt. I have pondered the need for this risk. I have felt sadness and loneliness. I have also had doors and windows fly open. I have felt closer to my values and have shifted my priorities. I have had joy and new things come to me. I have also been grounded. I guess my sadness comes for what I let go of. Not that it was good for me to hang on, but I had become comfortable in that roll. But, that roll didn't fit me anymore. It was no longer who I am. I had to speak about who I am and face the risk of rejection. Rejection.
Rejection is something I have grown up with. It is a familiar friend. It was time to have a heart-to-heart with this friend and ask myself, who is rejecting me? I needed to change my perspective. While I was trying to be accepted and loved by those society tells us has to love us, had I been rejecting my true self? That answer was yes. I needed to face that fear of rejection from others and be honest and open. I knew the risk and I took it. I could no longer reject myself.
I am waiting for the mud to settle. To let the changes take place. Slowly with compassion and acceptance. Staying true daily. Keeping my heart open for the next risk so I can walk with it with strength and courage and an understanding of purpose.
That is my personal risk.