Sunday, October 25, 2009


I've sort of been at a loss on what to write about risk because the truth is, lately everything feels like a risk.

Things have become complicated and shaken up since I took the risk and spoke my truth.  I have been battling against doubt and guilt.  I have pondered the need for this risk.  I have felt sadness and loneliness.  I have also had doors and windows fly open.  I have felt closer to my values and have shifted my priorities.  I have had joy and new things come to me.  I have also been grounded. I guess my sadness comes for what I let go of.  Not that it was good for me to hang on, but I had become comfortable in that roll.  But, that roll didn't fit me anymore.  It was no longer who I am. I had to speak about who I am and face the risk of rejection.  Rejection.  

Rejection is something I have grown up with.  It is a familiar friend.  It was time to have a heart-to-heart with this friend and ask myself, who is rejecting me?  I needed to change my perspective. While I was trying to be accepted and loved by those society tells us has to love us, had I been rejecting my true self?  That answer was yes.  I needed to face that fear of rejection from others and be honest and open.  I knew the risk and I took it.  I could no longer reject myself. 

I am waiting for the mud to settle.  To let the changes take place.  Slowly with compassion and acceptance.  Staying true daily. Keeping my heart open for the next risk so I can walk with it with strength and courage and an understanding of purpose. 

That is my personal risk.  


  1. Christa, personal risk is one of the most difficult we face. Rejection is something that we take so very personally and if you have had a lifetime of it, then it is something you know well and don't want to "court". I think the discomfort you feel, the mixed emotions, the up and down is a good are shaking things up and it sometimes takes awhile for things to settle down. Being able to live with yourself, to be true to yourself...that is the gift. Wishing you many blessings as you continue on this journey ♥

  2. Such courage in your post.... yes, sometimes our honoring our truths and our spirits can rock the boat.... I think I needed that reminder in this moment. Thank you for inspiring me!

  3. Thank you for posting your courageous journey with risk. I think it is oh so true that sometimes life can become a series of risks. I hope the dust settles and you find yourself full of joy.

  4. thank you for sharing this heartfelt post! sounds like you had quite a break through with this week's chapter.