It's been a hard week. I understand that when we break out of our box, there are things that will come up that will make us want to run back in screaming. This isn't the first time I have done this. It won't be the last.
Who wants to hear the truth? Nobody. As it seems. The truth can be like a pie in the face, but not as funny. You close your eyes when it hits. You have to then carefully clean the pie out of your eyes to get your vision back. It may be blurry for a while. After the shock...you then ask, "what hit me?". Some people can then laugh at themselves and the situation. Some cannot. Cannot.
Whether this truth is about ourselves, told by others or perceived through our own experience, or about those we love, it's a fine line to walk, if you choose to. The path is narrow.
We make mistakes. We are human. We can only do the best that we can do, if we are honest.
I am a firm believer in the truth. I would rather understand the facts, then deny that they exist. My path is narrow. But it is a path I choose to walk. I am happier in that place. It is how I roll.
I also believe that "there are times when silence is a lie."
It is not for everyone. Some people prefer to live behind that glass. It is safer. It is, in their perspective, more peaceful. They refuse glass cleaner.
Forgive me if this sounds like gibberish. I'm trying to clean my glass.
This chapter so resinated with my soul. It made me cry. It was affirming that while this is hard, it is worth it and most importantly, it is who I am. It is who I am. I need to accept that even though others will not. That is the painful part. "Once you've awakened to this light, you will gradually, almost involuntarily, begin to act more like yourself---not out of a desire to attack anyone else's truth, but simply because you cannot un-see what you have seen. ...the truth will set you free."
I hope so. I believe so. Faith. Compassion. Love.
And when the soul reaches the stage
at which it pays little attention to praise,
it pays much less to disapproval;
on the contrary it rejoices in this
and finds it a very sweet truth
Saint Teresa of Avila
Finding inner peace.