Be creative.

I love to be creative. I find joy in being creative.

I have always been an "idea" person. Ideas are always flying around in my mind. There is always a solution.

The biggest eye opening aha for me in this chapter was expanding my idea of what creative is. I tend to live in a box. I have rigid definitions of things. I use to think that being creative only had to do with art or music. I loved being shown how to expand and to look at even the things I do daily as being creative.

An example is cooking. I love to cook. I read cookbooks in bed. I have food blogs I read daily. But I never considered this as being creative. I don't know why. I now see the creative in this activity I just do out of love and adventure. What joy.

Now, the problem I have with being creative is follow through. I am a great "starter" and a not-so-great "finisher." I know this about myself.

I tend to let my feelings of fear and not being good enough stop me from moving to that next step of creativity, following the dream.

I guess that is where our next chapter falls into place. Risk.

I can hardly wait.

The banishing of doubt.

Hello all who are reading this.

I just wanted to take a moment to comment on my experience with Wishcasting Wednesday.

I am humbled by the power of this group.

I need to say Thank You. Thank You.

I now believe. I have no doubt. Wishing and praying for others is powerful. I know this now.

Thank You.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart

I wish, I wish, and then I pray.

Wishcasting Wednesday.

This is the first time I am participating. What a blessing.

Jamie asks, What do you wish to let go?. Today I wish to let go of my feelings of self-doubt.
I want to gather my strength, let go of fear and doubt and be open to where God is leading me. To be open and willing to follow my desires without that inner voice of doubt. To get my-self out of the way.

Peace and Love

Desire + knitting

Day one...success. It's the little things.

I am finding joy in the gift of following my desires. Can't wait to see what is next!!

My truth about desire.

The truth is, I never realized what desire meant. The word was scary to me. I avoided it. In my mind, it meant those parts of me that were selfish, secret, greedy and bad. If I desired something then it must be something I didn't deserve.

Boy, was I wrong. Wrong. I had no "desire" to read this chapter. I had no idea what it would say and I thought it unimportant. Again, wrong. It illuminated such a deep connection to my truth, it was like discovering an old friend I didn't know I had. Someone I ignored. Someone I overlooked.

But, why? Now for the truthful part. Time to dig in. Why? My answer, off the top of my head would be, because I was never encouraged to follow my desires. I had no guidance. I had/have no idea what that means. Guilt was attached to desire. Guilt was stronger and guilt always won. Desire was never talked about. It wasn't examined. It was given no respect. Desire did not have a voice.

What voice does my desire have, at this moment in my life. My desire is what it causing such striff in my life in regards to truth. They are connected. My desire to to be loved. Not the kind of love that says "I have to love you because you are my daughter, sister, mother." No, the kind of love that says "I love you because you are uniquely you." I desire to have relationships that are honest and open. I desire to have relationships that are supportive and nurturing. To know that you belong to a family.

I think this is just the tip of an even deeper desire. But I want to give this part time. Time to figure itself out. Embracing and exploring. I think it will involve alot of letting go. Alot of realizing that those I desire to be the closest to, don't want the same with me. That's the hard part. But I feel there. I feel that I can follow this desire, it will just be with different relationships. That I can fill this desire. That I can first find that love towards myself. That if I give this type of love, I will get it back in return. Intention.

That's the deep stuff. Now that I've identified, it is time to step back for a little bit and observe. To practice the nothing that will lead me down the right path.

So, for today....I have a desire to knit. Create! Next chapter. To make scarves and hats and socks and many things. To create with my hands. Today, I am going to a beginning class. This will be the fifth time I have tried to learn. I feel kind of unteachable. I hope they can work a miracle. But, maybe I won't need that. Maybe my desire will speak up and squash all that fear. Maybe? I need to stop saying maybe and say WILL. There. That's better.

Love and peace.

Doubting Truth

Lisa @sacred circle reminded me to trust and observe with her truth entry.

Today those words are getting me through. Lots of Doubt. Released by Trust.

Observing where my doubts are coming from. Or more honesty, who's voice is telling me the things I am doubting in myself.

Re-writing my story. With love and compassion.

Late post...that's the truth.

It's been a hard week. I understand that when we break out of our box, there are things that will come up that will make us want to run back in screaming. This isn't the first time I have done this. It won't be the last.

Who wants to hear the truth? Nobody. As it seems. The truth can be like a pie in the face, but not as funny. You close your eyes when it hits. You have to then carefully clean the pie out of your eyes to get your vision back. It may be blurry for a while. After the shock...you then ask, "what hit me?". Some people can then laugh at themselves and the situation. Some cannot. Cannot.

Whether this truth is about ourselves, told by others or perceived through our own experience, or about those we love, it's a fine line to walk, if you choose to. The path is narrow.

We make mistakes. We are human. We can only do the best that we can do, if we are honest.
I am a firm believer in the truth. I would rather understand the facts, then deny that they exist. My path is narrow. But it is a path I choose to walk. I am happier in that place. It is how I roll.
I also believe that "there are times when silence is a lie."

It is not for everyone. Some people prefer to live behind that glass. It is safer. It is, in their perspective, more peaceful. They refuse glass cleaner.

Forgive me if this sounds like gibberish. I'm trying to clean my glass.

This chapter so resinated with my soul. It made me cry. It was affirming that while this is hard, it is worth it and most importantly, it is who I am. It is who I am. I need to accept that even though others will not. That is the painful part. "Once you've awakened to this light, you will gradually, almost involuntarily, begin to act more like yourself---not out of a desire to attack anyone else's truth, but simply because you cannot un-see what you have seen. ...the truth will set you free."

I hope so. I believe so. Faith. Compassion. Love.

And when the soul reaches the stage
at which it pays little attention to praise,
it pays much less to disapproval;
on the contrary it rejoices in this
and finds it a very sweet truth
Saint Teresa of Avila

Finding inner peace.