See that? That is a wall. Isn't it a lovely wall? That girl. That is me walking on that wall. Well, not really. It's a stock photo. But, this is what happened to me when I read the chapter on play. I hit a wall and in my mind, that is what my wall looks like. Lovely. It's a familiar place I hang out at from time to time. I like to walk on my wall. Practicing my balance. I find it fun. It was something I loved to do as a child, come to think of it. Trying to stay balanced as I walked on a narrow object. Walls, trees fallen over streams, edges of the sidewalk. I wasn't very good at it, but I liked to try.
So, back to the chapter on Play. As I said I hit a wall. I always hit a wall when I am presented with the thought of work vs career. When I am told..."do something that you love and then you will have everlasting happiness.".....or something like that. Those people who are always telling me that always seem to be doing what they love and making a very good living at it to boot. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who can make that happen for themselves. I know they worked hard to get to where they are at. That is just not me, yet.
I have a job, or work. I am thankful everyday that I have my job because I need to work. But it is not play for me. It is stressful and absolutely no fun. But I do it. It is what I need to do right now. Support my family.
I once tried to make something I loved into my job. It didn't work out and that something I loved, I love no more. So, I am a little leary of making my play into a career. It changes it, for me. But I think about it often.
I understand what Martha was saying in this chapter. That isn't the problem. The problem is my sense of responsibility and reality of where I am in my life at the moment. I accept that.
And one day I hope that my choice of work is more play. I think it will be. Someday. Not right now.
But in the meantime. I am exploring my play. I am doing more things in my non-working time that I love. It keeps me balanced.
I am going to read what everyone else has to say on the subject to get more perspective. Maybe something will get me over that wall so I can see what and perhaps who is on the other side. Maybe it will be someone or some thought who wants to come out and play.
I have always had sort of a mental block when it came to being creative and finding my creative soul. I wanted it. Bad. But never thought myself capable or good enough. 
